When Love Changes, But Doesn’t Die
Love doesn’t always end, sometimes it just changes shape. This isn’t a story of blame. It’s a story of breaking, choosing truth, grieving what once was, and slowly finding my way back to myself; honestly, imperfectly, sacredly. I used to think love meant forever, and if it ended, it meant I failed. But now I know some love is not meant to stay. Some love comes to grow us, crack us open, and then let us go. And that too is holy.
This is a story about love, loss, and the quiet rebirth that follows. About the kind of heartbreak that lives in the body: sweaty palms, spinning head, feeling ill, breath caught in the chest……. and how I learned to meet it with truth instead of shame. In this post, I speak on grief, accountability, yoga as heart medicine, art as alchemy, the seven steps that helped me heal, journal prompts for those walking through the same fire, and an invitation to a Cutting Chords Ceremony for anyone ready to release with love. If your heart is tender, this is for you.
The Death No One Talks About
A breakup is not just the end of a relationship.
It is:
The death of who we were in that love
The death of the future we imagined together
The death of the story we held onto in our minds and bodies
And grief lives in the body first. The night it ended, my hands wouldn’t stop sweating, my breath got stuck somewhere between my ribs and my throat, and my head was spinning like the whole world was collapsing from inside my chest. That was the moment I realised, this is not just sadness. This is death. This is rebirth.
Love Doesn’t Die. It Transforms.
Love doesn’t always disappear. It just stops being ours.
Sometimes it becomes memory. Gratitude. A quiet prayer wished from afar. Love doesn’t always stay as “we.” Sometimes love becomes “you and I”, as individuals walking different paths but honoring that once, our hearts knew each other.
What Helped the Healing
Seven truths, inspired by Jay Shetty but rewritten through my own cracked heart.
Let go of the fantasy.
It was beautiful, but not the whole truth.Stop the obsession spiral.
Their silence is not your sentence.Release the guilt script.
Shame keeps us stuck. Responsibility sets us free.Create your own closure.
Write it. Burn it. Pray it. Ritual is medicine.Pain doesn’t mean you were meant to be.
Pain only means you loved fully.Redirect your energy.
Into art, breath, body, prayer — into being someone you can trust.Don’t wait to feel ready.
Healing begins when you choose not to abandon yourself again.
Journal Prompts for Your Healing
What part of me died with this breakup and what part is being born?
What did I love about them, and what did I only love in my imagination?
Where in my body does grief live today? Can I sit with it, without fixing it?
What would closure look like if I stopped waiting for them to give it to me?
What does love mean to me now, without ownership or expectation?
Yoga is how I return to myself.
Not performative yoga, but heart-based, breath-led, devotional movement. The kind that asks you to soften your ribs, open your chest, and let your heart stretch without breaking.
Some heart-healing poses I share in my practice:
Anahatasana (Melting Heart) — surrender and trust
Supported Fish Pose — receiving support, opening gently
Camel Pose (Ustrasana) — the courage to be seen
Bridge / Wheel — expanding the heart skyward
Wild Thing — grief turning into freedom
If your heart is aching, you can move with me on my YouTube channel. I’ve shared a free Heart-Opening Yoga Practice to breathe into the chest, release heaviness, and remind the heart it is safe to receive again.
Because healing is not only thinking differently. It’s breathing differently. Moving differently. Creating differently. Tuning the heart like an antenna back into love.
Cutting Chords Ceremony
Weddings have ceremonies for beginnings. Endings deserve sacredness too.
I hold a Cutting Chords Ceremony: online or in-person at Salasbananas in Sri Lanka, for anyone ready to release with love, not bitterness.
In this ceremony, we:
Write the truths we never spoke
Honour what was real — not perfect
Call upon Shiva (endings, liberation) and Shakti (creation, life force)
Use breath, thread, or fire to symbolically release — not to erase love, but to free it
If your heart feels called to join, or if you need a private ritual, you can reach out or book a session through Inner Alchemy. my one-to-one heart and soul guidance. Or book a private one on one session for soul led guidance on navigating your break up consciously, with integrity and love at the heart - click here.
Art is my alchemy.
When I create art, I give my grief a place to breathe. Colours hold what language cannot. Shapes become prayers. These artworks you see in this post were created by me, born from love, from heartbreak, from the fire we walked through together. They are not just images, but relics of a love I will always honour.
From this journey, a new creation began—my Queer Lovers Art Project—a celebration of queer love, intimacy, devotion, and truth. It was inspired by us, by what we shared, and by what still lives beyond us. I share it with the world—not to reopen the wound, but to show how love, even when it changes shape, can still become art. A offering, a memory, a blessing. scroll await my shop and the full gallery soon on this website.
I’d Love to Hear From You
Have you ever created your own breakup ritual?
Burned a letter? Placed flowers in the ocean? Cut your hair?
Would you join a Cutting Chords Ceremony — online or here in Sri Lanka?
Share below. Your story might be medicine for someone else.
A Closing Ritual for You
Place your hand on your heart.
Take a slow breath in. Let it go.
Whisper to yourself:
“I release what no longer stays. I honour what once was. I am still worthy of love.”
Stay.
Take one more breath. Whisper - “This too is healing.”
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
