Love Restores the Blocked Heart
I’ve been thinking a lot about how shame and guilt live inside us. Not as thoughts, but as energy. Heavy. Quiet. Ancient.
This is for the ones who keep pushing love away. For the ones who think they must suffer to be worthy. Maybe this story is yours too.
There was once a man who carried a wound older than this lifetime. He didn’t remember the moment it began, only the echo of it. A quiet voice in his bones whispering,
“You don’t deserve love. You don’t deserve joy. You must pay.”
So he did.
He sabotaged every good thing that came to him, every friendship that became too warm, every opportunity that felt too bright, every blessing that looked like grace. He pushed people away before they could come close. He crushed his dreams before they could bloom. And every time life offered him beauty, he turned his back because deep down he believed,
“I am not worthy. I must suffer for my mistakes. Even if the mistake is from another lifetime.”
But guilt and shame are tricky medicines. At first they keep us awake. Then they become the chains that keep us from ever coming home.
This man wasn’t being punished by God. He was punishing himself. Not because he was unlovable, but because he forgot he was love.
Shame and guilt are thieves of energy. They close the door to source. They seal the heart from receiving. They turn miracles into burdens. They keep us living in exile from our own light.
Healing doesn’t come from waiting for someone to save us. It comes from turning inward and asking,
“What part of me still believes I must suffer to deserve love?”
And then staying… sitting… breathing… until the walls between us and the Divine begin to soften.
What Shame Really Does to the Soul
Shame doesn’t just hurt—it isolates. It convinces us:
I am wrong. Not what I did—something is wrong with me.
If people knew me fully, they would leave.
I must keep paying for my past to be worthy of my future.
And so we:
Push away the very love we crave
Turn down blessings because we don’t feel “ready”
Sabotage relationships, dreams, opportunities—because receiving feels unsafe
But what if… none of this was proof of unworthiness?
“What if it was simply the heart protecting itself from pain it no longer needs to carry?”
This Is My Journey Too
To stop abandoning myself.
To stop punishing my own heart
To remember that every gift life gives is not a reward—but a reflection of who I already am.
I am walking back to love. Slowly. Honestly. With my palms open.
A Practice to Try — Coming Home to Yourself
Sit In a comfortable cross legged position or lying down - Inhale gently. Whisper in your heart:
“I am forgiven. ”
Exhale slowly. Whisper:
“I am worthy of love.”
Repeat 11 times.
Journal Prompts:
“Where in my life am I still punishing myself?
What beauty am I refusing because I don’t think I deserve it?
What would it feel like to let myself be loved—fully?”
Mantra for Today:
“I am not separate from the divine. I am the love I keep searching for.”
If This Spoke to You…
If my work, my retreats, my art, or my words have ever touched you—Join a class, take a workshop, buy some art & support this body of work with resonance. Not because I need saving, but because we are remembering—together—that we are the light we’ve been searching for.
Photograph by Yonel Martinez
