Shiva & Shakti: Finding Sacred Union in a Queer Body

Union Is Not Balance. It Is a Lived Exchange.

For a long time, I thought I needed balance.

Balance sounded safe. Reasonable. Spiritual enough without being dangerous.
Balance meant I could keep things measured. Contained. Controlled.

But balance is static.

Union is alive.

Union is a conversation. A current. A dance between energies that are allowed to meet, clash, soften, retreat, return.

I didn’t grow up learning union.
I learned separation.

Learning to Separate in Order to Belong

As a gay man in a world that expected me to be straight, I learned early how to manage myself. How to edit my gestures. How to control my voice. How to perform masculinity in ways that felt acceptable enough to avoid harm. My femininity didn’t disappear. It went underground. My sensitivity, sensuality, emotional depth, and creative impulse became something to hide, even from myself.

This split wasn’t theoretical. It lived in my body.

My masculine learned how to survive. How to achieve. How to hold things together.
My feminine learned how to wait. How to observe. How to express herself quietly, if at all.

There was no union between them. Only tension.

I confused productivity with power. Control with safety. Discipline with devotion.
I thought if I could “balance” my masculine and feminine, everything would be okay.

But balance kept them separate.
Union asked them to touch.

Union began when I stopped trying to correct myself and started listening.

Union Begins With Acceptance & Embodiment

When I allowed my sexuality to be felt instead of monitored or performed.
When I let my body lead instead of forcing it to behave.
When my creativity stopped asking for permission.
When softness stopped being treated as a liability.

Union didn’t erase polarity. It made it relational.

My masculine didn’t disappear. It softened. It learned to listen.
My feminine didn’t overpower. She gained trust. She stopped hiding.

This is the difference.

Balance is about keeping things even.
Union is about allowing flow.

Union is awareness moving through sensation.
Union is structure that knows how to bend.
Union is power that includes tenderness without apology.

I see how many of us are still living split lives.

Union is the Bliss embracing our sexuality as the very embodiment of sacred divine union

Gay men who learned to survive by shrinking parts of themselves.
Men who were taught that desire is dangerous and softness is weakness.
Women who learned to mute their hunger, voice, or sensual intelligence to be acceptable.
Humans who feel shame not because they are broken, but because they were never shown how to integrate what they feel.

There is nothing wrong with your desire.
There is nothing wrong with your expression.
There is nothing wrong with the way energy wants to move through you.

What hurts is interruption.

Union is not something we think our way into.
It is something we practice through the body, through honesty, through listening.

Through movement that isn’t performative.
Through voice that isn’t edited.
Through journaling that tells the truth instead of keeping the peace.
Through sound, breath, and stillness that allow sensation and awareness to meet.

This is the work I live.
This is the work I guide.

Journal Prompts to  Explore Union and See Separation

If you want to begin exploring this in your own life, here are some questions to sit with gently and honestly, without rushing to answer. Before you begin, pause for a moment……Take a slow breath in through the nose and let it fall out of the body.
Feel where you’re seated. Feel the weight of your body being held.

Create a little ambience if it helps. Candlelight. Quiet. Music. Or simple stillness.

There is no right way to do this.

This journaling isn’t about insight or sounding wise.
It’s not for sharing or impressing anyone.
It’s an invitation to let truth move without editing.

Write from sensation. From memory. From what feels alive.
If words slow down, let them.
If emotions rise, let them.

Let the body lead.
Let the pen follow.

Journal Prompts: Sexuality, Union, and the Body

Move slowly with these prompts. You don’t need to answer them all at once. Let the body lead. Pause when sensation or resistance arises.

1. Where did I first learn that parts of my sexuality were unsafe, unacceptable, or too much?

What was happening around me. What did I feel in my body. What did I learn to hide or perform.

2. How did I learn to separate parts of myself in order to belong?

Which expressions were encouraged. Which were discouraged. How did this shape my voice, posture, desire, or creativity.

3. Which part of me learned how to survive, and which part learned how to disappear?

How do they move through the world. What do they protect. What do they long for.

4. How do I police my own expression today?

Notice the subtle ways this shows up in my body, sexuality, voice, or desire.

5. Where do I confuse control with safety?

In my body. In my relationships. In my sexuality. What would soften if I loosened that grip.

6. How does my masculine energy behave when my feminine is not trusted?

How does my feminine respond when it has not been welcomed

.

7. What am I trying to balance that actually wants to be in relationship?

Where am I keeping parts of myself separate instead of letting them meet.

8. Where in my sexuality do I seek permission instead of truth?

What sensations or desires am I still monitoring instead of listening to.

9. When have I felt moments of union in my life, even briefly?

In intimacy. In movement. In creativity. In stillness. What was present. What fell away.

10. What would it mean to let desire move through me without needing to justify it?

What fear or excitement does that bring.

11. If my body could speak honestly about pleasure, power, and tenderness, what would it say right now?

12. What am I afraid would happen if my masculine and feminine were in true union?

Union is not something to achieve. It is something the body remembers.

Let’s practice sacred union together!

Union is not something we achieve.
It is something we allow.

It is the moment we stop managing ourselves and let life move through us honestly.
In our bodies. In our sexuality. In our creativity. In our relationships.

If this writing stirred something in you, you’re invited to keep exploring.

My work is rooted in embodied union, not theory. It lives through sound, presence, and honest inquiry. You’re welcome to explore the spaces where this work continues to unfold.

Explore further

Sound Healing
Rest the nervous system. Let vibration soften the places where separation still lives.

Inner Alchemy
One-on-one soul coaching for those ready to integrate desire, truth, power, and tenderness into lived union.

Queer Wellness
Sacred spaces for queer bodies to heal shame, reclaim expression, and remember belonging beyond binaries.

You don’t need to fix yourself.
You don’t need to balance yourself.

You’re invited to come into relationship with yourself.

And let union do the rest.

If this speaks to you, comment “Sacred Union”  below to know more or reach out directly.

Union is not a concept. It is a lived experience. And when it is embodied, life begins to move with grace.

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